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But there was no way I could let Sally know my doubts. If they were groundless she would be really pissed at me for questioning her. If there were some substance to them, she would be pissed, and scared. In either case the 'wonder what's' would still be there and nothing would be changed, except that my wife would be mad at me.It seemed to me necessary for me to satisfy myself that my fears were hogwash. Still, she couldn't know I was doing it.So when this last trip was scheduled, I arranged a few days off with my boss. Then I told Sally I needed to visit one of our suppliers on the days she was going to be gone. I promised to call her at her hotel the time we usually talk, as I would likely be gone overnight and wouldn't be home to take her phone call.Sally was flying out late that afternoon to Phoenix. I booked a flight leaving that morning and arrived enough before her to settle in a room at the hotel where she always stayed. After changing into clothes she wouldn't recognize I. "I want to grow up to be a railroad engineer, like my dad," Josh had said in grade school, and Walt had never really encouraged it or opposed it. "Whatever you want to do," he'd said.But this summer had been different. Really working on the railroad had been a lot of fun. He'd learned a lot, and had learned enough to see that there was much more that he needed to learn if he really wanted to make a life of being a railroader. It was something he'd never really held out much thought about, since he'd known that with railroads shrinking, there were not a lot of job openings. But, this would be different; the C&SL had a solid traffic base that would probably be good for many years. It was expanding, not shrinking.Besides, Josh thought, to get right down to it, he did like living in Spearfish Lake. Even if he did go to college, there weren't a lot of job opportunities that would keep him in town. The odds were that he'd have to move to a city somewhere, and he didn't really like the idea.
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